Spring chores and wild children

At last,it's time to wake up!

I've started scribbling my list of things I've got to get done. Again this year we are dealing with some deep diving to find the leak(s) in the pool liner. The guy in the pool store said it would need a whole new liner if there was more than 2 leaks! OH COME ON! My thinking is that unless they are all over the place I can make this last another 100yrs. At least. Is there anyone out there who's not trying to sell me something?
The pool is probably one of my most valued luxuries. It's my paradise. We paid more for it than any of our cars...though that doesn't mean we paid very much. It's the one place I can go and pretend I am anywhere and forget most problems. It's the one item my mom said never to buy, it would devalue our property she said. It's in it's 7th season and has been used well, mostly by me, who's secret ambition is to be a fish.

Another project is the garden. We always plan big but end up putting stuff in so many places it never shows. I've been digging a garden since I was a kid. My parents always encouraged digging and somehow the plants or seeds were always there for us. Maybe it was 10 x 12. Not exactly a field but enough to give us some sense of responsibility, some connection with our food. Bob, my husband grew up in a city and this is why he needs me, I am a farmer at heart. That and a pool liner fixer.
Unfortunately I didn't start the tomato seeds this year.I prefer them to anyone else's because they seem to grow best when I start them. They were my first science project here at home. I'd bring the cuttings in and then I played the role of the bee by using a Q tip to propagate the flowers and that's how one gets tomatoes indoors in the fall and winter in New England. I thought I was brilliant to discover this. I amuse easily. This was the earliest form of sex education, plant sex. I learned this from a woman who was born in 1900 and was a teacher. That's right, sex education in the sneakiest way they could tell us, but it went right over my tiny little mind! Of course now it's obvious.
There's also some asparagus roots that I must start. They're a perennial here so well worth the bother. They'll be popping up when the pool finally drops in 100 years.
A rose bush is another wish and I must find a good one.[or 2] Our field is literally filled with wild roses which smell like heaven in June, but I want one tame one which I can admire.
I love peonies too. Not only will they smell more powerful than a rose, they'll be pushing up every May long after the pool bites the dust. Those I spread everywhere, keeping the white one from the pink so it will stay white.
Potatoes: Those I am just going to dig a hole and put the sprouted ones from the kitchen drawer into. I'll hill them up as they grow. It's more for fun than to be a potato farmer. We do have a potato farm just down the street and they make it look like fun. It's a small family affair.
I've taken a clipping from the willow tree at the pond house. I really want a willow tree down by our end of the pond so let's hope it takes. I can already see it.

I think if someone doesn't inform you of what you can't grow you can grow anything! I recall Mrs. Popple, the now deceased greenhouse owner and friend whom I bought many plants from, telling me that delphiniums were very difficult to start. Well, not when you didn't know. Seeds, much like genes, they know exactly what to do if they are given the proper environment. They know exactly what they are supposed to be. Some seeds, like parsley, insist on being frozen and they will then germinate.Chocolate mint will stay chocolate mint as long as I don't grow it too close to regular peppermint. Wild herbs are the strongest and their vitamin content is superior which is why the Indians used them medicinally.
Perhaps we need more wild children. Kids who get their hands dirty and are allowed to discover the world from the tops of trees and by making pine cone soup and mud pie.
Which leads me to......
maybe kids who'll help me clean the top of the barn, if you're listening.: ) I KNOW you hear me, my wild ones. It's the biggest project on my list,the scariest one as well, but the one that will be most rewarding. It's time to reclaim the space and part out the junk, bit by bit.[we have a few months] It will make a wonderful studio and I always share.

This is just the beginning of my list. To see more would send me into shock and back into a false winter hibernation. When I see the upstairs in the barn it may send me into shock as well but I must be brave!

Instincts and intuition are virtues we are actually born with. They've been with us since day one when we first learn who to trust. Listen to your gut, trust your intuition, or your instincts will often lead you.
Just don't harm anyone Mary! Not yourself either. Those instincts are telling you something needs to change, not to kill.

Protect at times, YES, a strong instinct when we are in danger.

They were with us when we learned to walk and talk.
When they told us to be quiet we chattered away inside our head and they were none the wiser for all the noise we were making!
When we took our first steps those of us who were blessed with patient parents allowed us to go at our own pace, we weren't dragged along. Unless of course we were on a wild adventure and it was part of the story.

They are with us when we got sick and needed to sleep or when we suspect something is seriously wrong and we had to look for deeper answers.

They are there when we suddenly wake up hungry, hungry for answers or hungry for food because our belly is rumbling.

Even when we are uncertain of our next steps they are there, sometimes shouting so loud we simply disregard the inner voice as a foolish wish, a pipe dream.

Our intuition is there when we feel the need to connect with others.

Or when we need to be alone.

They were with me when I kept quiet and again when I found my voice.
I never really lost touch or respect for my own inner callings. I simply put some of myself on hold, MY OWN CHOICE, while I followed through on my instinct to be a mother and care for others. This wasn't a sacrifice, it was exactly what fed my soul. How many foolish people have asked "do you work?" The answer, "are you out of your mind!"
Of all the work I've done, babysitting, working with special ed kids, shops, even our business today where I haul furniture around and keep books and deal with all the details and many people, nothing was more exhausting or rewarding than being a mom or a wife. Everything else is fluff by comparison. No picture I ever paint will be as creative as the art of meeting and living with my crowd of characters. Still, I will paint it anyway, to tell my story. I will write to feed my soul and maybe shine the light on a path that's less often taken until one crashes and must find what's real again. I'll continue to read so I can see if there is a path I'd like to check out and add to my road. I'll let others teach me.

I do wonder how many others stay tuned to what it is they are called to do. I know many women on the internet who already follow their passions, they write. They give to others. They listen to their own intuition and follow those instincts.
They'd stand up to anyone to follow what they know in their gut is the way of healing. It doesn't stop there as they've then shared the way , shining a light for others. All this they give while they continue to be healing themselves. Amazing, is what they are!
Yes, there will be traps set by people who are so disconnected from who they are that they have a need to knock down others. I've met them. I've felt sorry for their way but not held down. In fact I've seen them as gifts to my soul, people who warn me away from the wrong path. It hurts to have people willfully separate from you but it's also what frees us to be who we truly need to be.

I wonder, what do your instincts tell you?

Do you listen?

Do you rest when your body says to rest and get up and get moving when it's hardest but you know it's the answer?

Do you fight when you feel called to take a stand and let it go when it doesn't matter?

Do you love when your instincts tell you to or are you afraid to love unless you are loved back?

There are so many ways we get in our own way. We are funny like that.

Today I think I am going to listen to my instincts and start clearing some of the old debris from my life. Make room for the studio even if it's really a room disguised as a loft in the mountains. Hmmmmmm

It's done! Something I never thought I'd do, the BLOG. I've began my own place where I can dream a little, toss around ideas, and share my own. The template I picked is different from the sage green one I can see. I like the green so I'll try it for awhile. I'm learning.
Welcome to my place where the water runs deep in places so wear a life jacket if you need one. Other than that we'll have to wait and see!